Man vs Wild

Ah, the wild life. And the wildlife.

Just past midnight a week or so ago, my neighbors, Merle and Lynn¾a normally staid and quiet Canadian couple¾exited their travel trailer with all manner of whooping and thumping, raising an unholy ruckus that awakened everyone in our corner of the RV park. Fearing I might be missing a good party, I stuck my head out and asked what the fuss was all about.

Turns out that two javelina were under the Canadians’ trailer, rooting around in the bags of aluminum empties the Canadians had stored there. The javelina (HAV-ah-lee-nah), small, hairy wild hogs also known as peccary, scampered off, leaving only their musty scent on the still desert air.

Even though we are surrounded by Tucson, our wild enclave along the river continues to support a population of commonly rural residents. Besides the wild pigs, solitary jack rabbits and herds of quail, the coyotes continue their evening serenades, siren songs to pet dogs who sometimes end up on the coyotes’ menu. Then the other afternoon I spotted a road runner that was so tall I wasn’t at first sure what was speeding across the sand. His legs a blur, the spindly bird gave credence to the image of one of my all-time favorite cartoon characters. Made me smile.

Character Flaws

Deepest apologies for the long absence—but I've been on a honeymoon! And it was love at first sight!

Early December. I'm Christmas shopping, wandering with only minimal purpose, idly scanning both products and patrons. Suddenly, across the sales floor, in the midst of the gadabout shoppers and glassy-eyed salespeople, appears a vision in warm golden green brocade. She's broad and tall, with full arms and a plump, yet firm, back. I knew in an instant that we were meant for each other. Afraid to lose her in the rush, I plow through the holiday crowd. At last, breaking free, I rush the last few yards and throw myself into the arms of the most seductive recliner I have ever met. Three days later we moved in together; the intervening months have been one long orgy of unadulterated relaxation.

My extreme R&R—and the fact that I refuse to pay for internet service nor to much inconvenience myself in finding hot zones—has resulted in my thoughtlessly long absence from the waves. Hey, whaddaya want? So I'm not just lazy, but cheap too. Believe me, those are not my worst features.

Anyway, for the moment, I’m back.