Character Flaws

Deepest apologies for the long absence—but I've been on a honeymoon! And it was love at first sight!

Early December. I'm Christmas shopping, wandering with only minimal purpose, idly scanning both products and patrons. Suddenly, across the sales floor, in the midst of the gadabout shoppers and glassy-eyed salespeople, appears a vision in warm golden green brocade. She's broad and tall, with full arms and a plump, yet firm, back. I knew in an instant that we were meant for each other. Afraid to lose her in the rush, I plow through the holiday crowd. At last, breaking free, I rush the last few yards and throw myself into the arms of the most seductive recliner I have ever met. Three days later we moved in together; the intervening months have been one long orgy of unadulterated relaxation.

My extreme R&R—and the fact that I refuse to pay for internet service nor to much inconvenience myself in finding hot zones—has resulted in my thoughtlessly long absence from the waves. Hey, whaddaya want? So I'm not just lazy, but cheap too. Believe me, those are not my worst features.

Anyway, for the moment, I’m back.